First and foremost, this may be a long post, but I’m going to shorten it as much as I can.

My husband and I have been married for almost two years, dated for roughly two and a half years(off and on for a few months early in our relationship). During those “breaks” we would see other people, him most likely more so than me. My husband I believe is a sex addict, maybe not a serial sex addict, but he strives on sex. Like tits and ass is his life type strive. This is something that I do and don’t have an issue with, although my self esteem is extremely low from if(makes total sense right). So here the ultimate issue though, early in our relationship my husband(bf at time) did cheat on me at least one time for what I know. Since being married, I’ve caught him being flirtatious with other women, once found, I put my foot down.

Here we go with the “once a cheater always a cheater” views. Believe me, sometimes I do feel really stupid giving him a chance, but I’m an empath, I always give the benefit of the doubt and knowing what I knew at the time it hurt, it I wrote it off as our relationship wasn’t that serious at the time, we were together and then splitting up, so I put that incident behind me and moved forward. Fast forward to today, as far as I know no cheating has occurred just those flirtatious texts and it seems to only be to one woman.

So back to the sex addict part...this is just who my husband is and a lot of the time I feel like I can accept him for who he is as long as he is faithful to me, going behind my back still feels like a betrayal and another notch, especially considering we have moved and I saw it as starting a new life together, a fresh start..I just hate that feeling like something is always wrong. Because he loves sex so much, I feel like he makes excuses for his actions, like he’s joined all these Facebook groups with boobs all in your face, and half naked women and whatever else. Another hot topic is porn, he’s always watching it, everyday, and when him and I talk about sex it’s like all these things he wants that I’m just not feeling. It’s not that I don’t like it it’s just I don’t think I like it with him. And I feel like that’s because of all the hurt he put me through. I have low self esteem because he doesn’t make me feel sexy, all I can think about is how many times he finds someone else sexy or that woman he was texting.

So basically, I’m looking for advice from someone that may have dealt with a similar situation. I’m not looking for comments on leave him...him and I are both in our 30’s, leaving really isn’t an option just because we want to try all possible sources of help before calling it quits. I’m in counseling as well, he could probably do it a bit more, his job is very demanding, it’s hard to find the time. I’m just really infuriated and confused. Him and I have talked about all of this as well, but I’m not feeling any better and honestly this post was a vent too. It’s hard having these feelings and no one to really talk to about it. In counseling. I finally let it all out, but he has the same job as my husband and is gone all the time and now he’s moving in June. So when I feel like this I have to let it out...otherwise it builds up. But I would really like some advice relevant to my situation.