so my husbands 14yr old came to live with us on a very short notice. cool. i wanted to spend more time getting to know his children more (the others are 10 & 7) as we try to conceive our new child. the problem is, his 14yr old has a sister whom i guess my husband has been in her life so my husband said he would take her in also. now my problem is, we don’t have primary custody of any kid at the moment, we just bought a house. i won’t say that i dont care because i do, but i also feel that my husband is spreading himself way too thin, also working full time. to be honest, i’m only worried about his biological kids first & ours (when we conceive), then if we can squeeze her in, then cool but if not, as long as my babies are good, i really don’t see a problem. But, of course, maybe someone can help me see it in a different light, that why i’m typing it here lol cause ya’ll at this point, i really don’t care about anything that doesn’t have our last name attached to it. & Before anybody asks, no, I wouldn’t expect anyone to take my kids in if they werent theirs biologically, it’s nice but ppl have bills & things already going on & sometimes they’re not in the position. im still getting to know the kids & fitting into this “mom” position. & then to throw our own kids into the mix & we planned on at least 3 (🤞🏾).

*Edit* Ok so he hasn’t been in the other kids life at least since I’ve been in the picture (like I’ve never even met her), & she’s not his daughter. & I’m going to need a reason as to why it’s not ok to only worry about mines cause just saying it’s wrong isn’t helping me with this struggle, as yes, I am a selfish being & yes, if i have to pick, i’m definitely picking mines over anyone else’s because once that bond is formed & if shit happens & said parent wants her kid back, courts step in.. It’s literally the same situation all over again. & i cant do anything for her at that point. I’m not saying that even if we could I still wouldn’t. I’m saying, we’ve been in a kidless household since before we even got engaged, with them (biological kids) coming on the weekends & what not. I’m saying am i wrong for wanting to be secure in knowing that this is a WHOLE child, not a puppy / goldfish / etc.. added to our plate. I just need to make sure my family is straight before I start bringing in more. If i had it, it would be a no brainer, but we don’t at the moment. In thinking about college, for example, i can’t afford to send her to college fully taken care of, & if she’s in MY care, she’s going to get everything mine get. so if i can’t give it, i don’t see the point. i have a huge career that i’m working on & my goal is to be able to do things like that. but i feel like that’s putting my family in a bad spot & i’m always going to put them before anybody.