Am I being a big baby about everything?

My mom has always been there for me. She's in the hospital and lost custody of me. She overdosed on pills and I feel it's my fault because I wasn't here to stop her. I hold back my feelings and pretend I'm happy around my friends and family, but when I'm alone, I cry constantly. I wonder if I'm being a big baby about it all. I just love my mom and hate seeing her like this. I'm also going to be separated from my siblings, who I love dearly. It's just so hard to deal with all of this. I feel so guilty.