So I think that school is great place to learn and make friends and discover your interests. I believe that I am an average student and I get average grades. For years of my life I’ve been struggling in math. Last time I remember not freaking out about math was in grade one...and I’m currently in Grade 11. And I love my parents and all but they just expect so much from me. My younger sister is better than me I’m so many ways, she’s smart... getting 90s and 80s on everything. She’s actually good in math and she just does good without having to try. She has good friends, and she’s happy. My parents are always pressuring me to get good marks and just to get 70s and 60s I have to try really hard, Because of this, I don’t want to get too stressed, so I read and watch shows and movies to escapee from reality for a bit. So that I can calm down and go back to the harsh reality of trying to be the perfect daughter that they want me to be. Anyways, point of the story is that I’m just so fed up with everything. My parents recently saw my repeort card, and it’s not bad it’s just not great or what they were expecting either. I’m taking all Dash one classes (average classes) and right now I finished LA with a 68, Social with a 66, and currently working on Bio(68) and Math(49...I know I’m really trying, I got a 90 on my last quiz so yay?) My Mom lost it on me saying that all I do is sit in front of a screen and I do nothing else. But for the past month I’ve been working my ass off to bring up my grades. And to be able to keep trying without giving up I have to chill for a bit...and that so called “Screen” is saving my sanity. I-I just feel so much pressure on me and it’s crushing me! I’ve had my first panic attack recently when I was trying to go to sleep, and I didn’t know what was going on so I was left to bear with it alone. And when I asked my mom what happened the next day she said I’m a bitter unimpressed tone that it was a Panic Attack. Quoting her exact words “That’s called a panic attack HONEY.” I-I just feel so alone and that nobody understands me and that all my effort is going unnoticed and that I-it’s just not worth it anymore! WHY AM I STILL TRYING IF NOBODY WILL EVER... ugh I’m trapped I feel trapped and that I’m suffocating. I’m always digging myself deeper in a hole of self-doubt and uselessness, of low self confidence/esteem and I’m just so done with feeling like this. I wanna good job when I grow up. I wanna enjoy life. I wanna be happy! I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know who I am what I am or what I’m going through and how do I make it all stop. I just want my family to be proud of me... and just not be disappointed for once.