Is This What You Call Love??

So I moved to this new school, it was e different surround ing, but I knew some people and some of my old school friends were there as well.

There was this guy, I had heard about him, plus one of my friends used to date him...but they broke up. Most stories about him were just about how he was a fuckboy and all the different girls he had dated.

So he tried talking to me once, but I really didn't want to given his "reputation". But he persisted and one night, he texted me, so we made plans to go and see a movie. We didn't end up going because he never called/texted me the day we were supposed to go, so I was like whatever.

Fast forward, one of my best friends had a birthday party and he invited me to go (my friend), who also happens to be that guy's friend too. (its a small town😂)

So we ended up going to a club, he showed up and bought me a drink and asked if I wanted to go for a ride. Mind you me, I had never been to a club so any side language I was completely oblivious to, plus I'm kinda naiive. He was pretty fun,so I decided to give him a chance.

We stopped somewhere and I was tipsy by this time, he asked me to give him a blowjob and I did, cuz why not...I wasn't very sensible at that time. He wanted to go further,but I refused.

The The following days at school, I ignored him because i was so shy and ashamed sort of plus I had no idea of what to say. We ended up talking, h would come to the library to sit with me and tell me these outrageous stories, had an amazing personality, texted me and we just generally became closer. I decided he probably wasn't as bad as the rumors on said.

So one day, he invited me tohis house, i was hesistant to go, but he insisted. He said we could watch a movie or something. By now, I didnt mind him at all, we went and ended up making out...then i just outright asked him if the only reason he brought me there was to have sex with me. (I was a virgin )He said no and kissed me again. Things led to another and we didn't have sex,, instead did other things. I made him swear he wouldnt tell anyone.

So the boy was really sweet for all this time and then I found out he had told his friends about what had happenened between me and him. I confronted himand stopped talking to him for awhile. He wnever did apologised, just played the victim.

Long story short, I ended up loosing my virginity and after which he completely ignored me and was so rude. It was like talking to a pissy stranger. We hooked up some times after that and one time he penetrated when i told him not to...we didn't have protection. I thought I was pregnant after that, and was so frustrated and anxious.I ltimeso much weight but I'm way better now.

I moved on from such a toxic and manipulative relationship, all the while I refused to see the negative in him. He was basically the first guy I had been with, but I chose to forgive him. It just feels nice to talkm abou it,i only told my friend. I want you all to know your worth and be strong.😊 You deserve the world, stay happy and never let anyone undermine you. 😄💙💙XOXO