Crying about my sexual harassment

Just spend 10 good minutes sobbing my eyes out. It was much needed and i haven’t cried in awhile. I cried about a lot of things. A lot of deep topics that mean a lot to me, but i also began thinking about how much people take advantage of me, my kindness, and my loyalty. Remembering a past toxic “relationship” and how i would tell him to stop as he was thrusting into me. Im in denial and don’t know if id like to consider it rape. I remember telling him stop and then just giving up. Letting him get off real quick so we can go about our day. This happened almost every day. I wouldn’t even do anything but lay against the bed as he did this. I even remember waking up one morning to him saying he did things to me in my sleep. Before i cut him off for good, he also confessed to sleeping with multiple girls while we were “dating” after saying he wasn’t. We were having unprotected sex too and i just felt and still feel so disgusting. This was about 4 months ago, and theres a lot more thats happened with him and other guys/ people in my life. I hate that that happened to me. There are parts of myself that i really don’t like

Adding: yes i actually did cut him out for good. He tried reaching out to me and even friends looking for me. Iv blocked him and got a no contact order.