Tips for calming worries?

Question

Just a note first. I’ve had a previous miscarriage
*Sigh* anyone else having a hard time keeping your worry that something isn’t right at bay? Even though there’s no alarming signal that something is wrong. I mean, my back aches, I’m nauseous almost everyday now at some point, and the fatigue (ew). Oh yea and the heightened sense of smell. 
No cramps, no bleeding. I think I’ve read too many posts about missed miscarriage and it’s got me worried. It seems to be everywhere but apparently it’s rare? Maybe I spend too much time in forums 🤦🏼‍♀️
I have to tell myself everyday, this is one day more that you’re still pregnant so relax. It never lasts though and I worry again. 
I have a ultrasound this afternoon. It’s the first one and I’m so anxious about it. Help me ladies, I just can’t shake the fear.

Answer

I tell this to new moms all the time; welcome to motherhood- you’ll never be worry free again! That’s part of being a mom! Right now you’ll worry about a miscarriage, right before your anatomy scan you’ll worry about abnormalities, before labor you’ll worry about their weight gain, after birth you’ll worry about SIDS and if they are eating enough. Being a mom is a stressful job, you want the best for baby, and it’s a stress that unfortunately won’t ever go away. 
Here’s the thing that helped me most though, and I hope I don’t come off harsh or raw. But just focus on the positive and what you CAN control. Unfortunately, can you control if you have a miscarriage? No. But you CAN control yourself during the first trimester and get lots of sleep, eat healthy, take your prenatales, and not lift heavy things to help limit the potential for a miscarriage. Can you control if your baby ends up having a health issue? No! But you CAN take tests, follow doctors instructions and read up to prepare and become knowledgeable about what risks your baby might be susceptible too and prepare! Can you control when you go into labor and the pain and anxiety that comes with it? No! But you CAN have a birth plan ready, a hospitable bag packed and take birthing classes to help relax yourself. In short- you can’t control anything but you sweet mama! Don’t cause yourself or your baby stress by worrying and wondering about things beyond your control. Focus on the miracle growing inside you every day. Focus on the positive news doctors give you. Focus on the excitement your SO may feel. Be positive! It will all work out in the end! ❤️

Answer

It's gotten better for me. I had trouble believing I was pregnant for a while. Now at 14 weeks, it feels much more stable and I feel less anxious. 
Consider buying a dopller in a week or two. Mine is so helpful.

Answer

Update : 
😬 So I get to my appointment and since it’s run out of the hospital they aren’t supposed to tell you anything. So I’m already pretty disappointed that I won’t get reassurance by this scan and have to wait until Monday for my appointment with my ob-gyn. 
After explaining I had no idea that was how it was going to go she said she’d ask the radiologist I’m charge if there was anything they could share. Also I could see the screen and wouldn’t be given a picture. 
So after I wait a bit, she comes back and tells me that at this time they can see the sac, but at this time can not verify a viable pregnancy as they can’t see anything! 😬 That the radiologist suggested a repeat ultrasound in about a week and a blood draw. I’m at least 9 weeks according to my last period. She entered my embryo Transfer date instead. 
Feeling defeated...... expecting the worst.... hoping for the best after I’ve read a few empty sac miracles appear for people. 
Side note I have a retroverted uterus or tilted uterus. I know this can make things tricky. I just don’t know if I should have any hope or let it go and except it. 
I just want to thank you all for your support!

Answer

I worried every appointment since I found out I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks when they couldn’t find the heart beat and then did an ultrasound to confirm it. Unfortunately you never really get over a miscarriage and the fear is real... I had hubby come to every appointment and that helped me feel stronger, but I held my breath till I heard the heartbeat with my next pregnancy... the only clue I had with my missed miscarriage was spotting and being very moody ( which can be common pregnancy symptoms... especially if you bleed after sex... which is why during my second pregnancy I didn’t have sex except like 5 time ... poor hubby!!!)

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I’m 19 weeks and I still worry, I’ve had two previous miscarriages. My husband always has to tell me to calm down. 
I feel bad that I worry about our boy all the time but I can’t help it. I just want him here and healthy.

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Hi Cara, I am 7 weeks and 2 days. Our first scan is next week and I am the same. Worried so so so much. Not feeling much. Only have a teeny bit of sickness. Tiredness seems to be going (unless I am getting used to it), but I just can’t stop worrying. Hope your scan goes perfectly. X

Answer

Do yourself a favor and stay away from pregnancy forums for a few weeks. I struggle with anxiety and was really susceptible to freaking myself out. I had to actively avoid anything pregnancy-related until after my worries calmed down. After about week 7 or 8 I felt good about doing some research, joining a forum, etc.