If this doesn’t belong feel free to tell me and I’ll move it to a different group.

I am the youngest of four Children to a very young mom. My mom have my oldest sibling (sister) when she was 15 years old my brother when she was 16 my other sister when sh was 20 and me when she was 21. She is a grandmother of four with a fifth one on the way at the age of 41.

I’ll try and make a long story short, just to save some face and some time. My mom wasn’t always my biggest fan. After I was born she wouldn’t hold me, or feed me, or even act like I existed. She left the state shortly after and moved to another state leavening my second oldest sister and I with our dad. She took everyone down to the other state but I stayed with my dad until I was 4, then she moved me down. I lived with my mom from the age of 4-9 then I moved back with my dad and lived with him from the ages of 10-12, I was horribly abused physically and emotionally by my step mom so I moved back with my mother at the age of 12; then I lived with her from the age of 12-18.

I’ve always had weight issues, I was starved by my step mom so I never ate much and never gained weight I was Rail thin, maybe 90lbs at the age of 12. I stayed small most of elementary and middle school getting no bigger then a size 10 weighing 140-150lbs. I never thought of myself as fat or over weight and neither did my doctors. My mom always had something say about my weight from day one. I always needed to lose weight or skip a meal or get up a go outside, she always told me I was fat. It’s taken it’s toll on me over the years and I struggle a lot with my self image and how I look at myself. Even when I was really thin she made me think I was fat and ugly. When I moved out of her house I gained more weight due to stress and being able to afford to feed myself and. It having anyone telling me I needed to skip a meal. I went from 150lbs to 219 in the span of 3 years.

I was in the process of losing weight I was down to 210-215lbs just trying to get down to 160lbs where I feel like I would look good but not thin. Well I got pregnant and I’m 9w tomorrow, I went to see my mom yesterday and expressed some concern about weight gain during pregnancy and her and my oldest sister went to town telling me how fat I am, how fat I’m going to get, how I’ll look like my aunt (very heavy women 300+lbs) I also told her we plan on me being a stay at home mom due to what we feel is right and because I’m home schooling. She went on the tell me how my hips are going to get wider, and I’m never going to lose weight, and if I gain weight I better hope it’s nothing but baby ect. She just spent the whole 3 hours I was there just tearing me down.

I’m so used to this it normally doesn’t bother me but obviously I’m very hormonal and it bothered me this time, and I didn’t tell my boyfriend because he gets upset about how my mom treats me. Last night I wouldn’t sleep I was feeling depressed, and today at work I’ve had a very bad day. So I go into the kitchen of my clients and just start crying, called my boyfriend and just vented.

I’m the only on in my family that can’t gain weight without my mom making remarks, she second oldest sister gained a lot of weight with her pregnancy and still hasn’t lost it, but my mom never says anything to her about her weight. My oldest sister gained a lot of weight but nobody said anything to her. I’ve always been my moms punching bag, and it’s just getting worse that I’m pregnant. I’ve thought about no longer going to see her or just stay away until after the baby is born. I just don’t know what to do any more it’s been 8 year and nothing has ever changed even when I stand up to her. Does anyone have advice? Does anyone else know what it’s like?