over the last 3 or 4 years, I have gained over 100lbs literally. i weighed 140 to 145 when me and my man first got together and it pains me that he has had to watched me blow up like a balloon. i haven't checked my weight in over a year, but last time I did I was 256. I think I'm around 260 something now.

he still loves me and is sexually attracted to me. that's not my issue.

my issue is that ive tried. ive dieted. I've stopped drinking soda, i atopped fast food, i got a gym membership, I worked out there,3 to 4 times a week for months and never shed a pound.... something is just so wrong. I know everyones going to say go to the doctor. im not stupid, i know that's what needs to happen, but I have am extreme irrational fear of it. i dont wanna go to the doc for my weight and them tell me oh its cause i have PCOS or Endo or my thyroid is broken and have to be on Fucking medication for the rest of my life.. ahhh.

I'm not really posting this to ask what to do. I'm posting just to vent and and if any if you have been in the same boat, how did u over come it if u did? if u went to the doc, what did they tell you? things like that. just wanna know I'm not alone.