I'm always disappointed with how I look, not getting pregnant, etc. I always give excuses why I'm not getting better or whatever. that if plus size people can get pregnant why can't I? that it's others people's fault for why I am the way I am. the truth is it's my fault. how am I supposed to expect my body to carry a life if I'm treating my body like crap. if I'm only giving it crap? how do I expect to see changed to me if I don't make changes. NOBODY is going to make changes for me. people can support me but NOBODY can do anything for me. I have to put in the effort. I have to stop feeling bad about myself. I have to stop blaming everybody and everything for how I have become. I have to want this badly. I think that I have now truly understand and have come to the conclusion of these things and I think I'm finally ready to start making a change.