Im 17 and my mom is verbally and emotionally abusive. She’s been an alcohol since I was like 10-12. She calls me a bitch and screams at me and tells me I’m lazy and says that I can’t do anything. She used to “joke” about how my friends are better than me and she would trade me for one of them. When she’s really drunk she’ll tell me to leave. One time when she was drinking she beat the shit out of me but says she doesn’t remember. She acts like I’m mooching off of her.. but I’m her kid..

Everyone always thought I was a shy kid and I started to realize in like 6th/7th grade I wasn’t normal. I told my mom I thought I had anxiety. She told me that I didn’t. It got worse. I had diagnosed myself with anxiety and when I was 16 my grandma took me to the doctor and they said I had social anxiety. I’m 17 and I can’t go to the store by myself, I can’t drive without freaking out, I can’t pump gas, I can’t be in big crowds alone, I can barely talk to new people and right now I’m torn because I’m 17 and I’m terrified to get a job. My moms screaming at me saying I’m living off of her dime and I just want out but I can’t because of my anxiety.

I have a loving boyfriend that I’ve been with for 2 years and I love him to death but I can’t just depend on him..