Why is it this so hard? I have been doing this for 2 freaking years! 2 miscarriages is the past 5 months and I seem to be the only one?

My best friend was going to be my support untill she got pregnant on the third try. My sister on the second. My brother's wife on the first. Even my MOM and she complains throughout her entire pregnancy. Why is this so dang hard? My sister had her baby last week and yes, I am very jealous of her. But I wouldn't ever wish she go through what I do. I'd never wish her baby away because that is the most beautiful blessing anyone could ever have.

I want to be pregnant, and I want my rainbow baby. And I want to cry and give up this endless cycle of BFN but I can't because giving up isn't going help anything.

I look strong so my family doesn't see how hard it is for me to see their babies come.

My husband doesn't know that after he's asleep, I sit on the back porch and I cry alone, because I know it's hard on him too.