Is it wrong that I don’t want to be part of my sisters wedding?

Question

A little back story. Last Sept. my family went to DR for vaca, where my sis met this guy (he lives in DR). We went back to see him for a few days in Oct. They kept in touch, talked everyday on FaceTime. He talked about marrying my sister, but I thought he was just joking. We went to visit him at the end of April, & he proposed! & my sis said yes. 
    Obviously, I have many concerns, seeing that he’s never been to the US before, he has a child (that he is willing to leave behind to come be with my sister) & the fact that they’ve only been in each other’s presence 3 times. My mom sees nothing wrong with this for some reason, which has caused many arguments between us.
    The other day my sister had a SERIOUS situation happen. She thought she got her period, she always gets her period a week after mine, so I knew something was wrong. Come to find out she was pregnant, but had a miscarriage & had to get emergency surgery. Thank God everything went ok. But, I got really upset because my sister doesn’t deserve to go through anything like that without her spouse (no female does).
    I thought this situation would be a little clue to slow things down & take her time. Now, it seems like she wants to speed things up. She showed me wedding dresses the other day & I’m just really uncomfortable. My mom wants me to be involved in everything, but it’s hard to do that when I don’t agree with it. I want to support her from a distance. 
    Is it wrong of me to feel this way & should I let it be clear to my mom that I don’t want to be part of the wedding planning & everything?

Answer

The timing wouldn’t concern me as much as the “he’s willing to leave his son behind” would. That’s a huge red flag to me. 
I met, married and got pregnant with my husband in 6 months. Love at first sight is a real thing but if I had a kid, I would never put them above someone else like this man is willing to do. 
But it’s your sisters decision. Support her from a distance and if things go wrong, support her without saying “I told you so.” That’s all you can really do at this point.

Answer

I met my boyfriend on vacation on tinder we never really met while on vacation but we are both Canadian but different Provence’s when we did meet I knew that he was the one. I moved to his Provence to be with him I am sure my sisters and whole family thought I was nuts but I have been here for two years now and have a 4 month old son and never been happier in my life. Love is a funny thing and sometimes it happens in a blink of an eye other times it takes weeks months years even. I think that you expressed your concerns to her and if she is going to do it you should be there for her she is your sister if things work out you should be there with her and if things go wrong you need to be there to support her 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

This reminds me of 90 day fiancé .. if I were you I'd be very iffy .. but people are going to live their lives the way they want. I don't agree with my sisters life at all but no one can stop her. I'm a tough love kinda person. So she gets what's coming to her. She's living in a tent (we think) with a guy she just met and he had just gotten out of rehab for meth addiction. He was the friend of her ex that she was with for 7 years. She got with him immediately after breaking up. She doesn't keep In touch with the family at all. 
I hate that she's living like that but that's how she wants to live so nothing I can do. 
It sucks I know but you just gotta last things work out how they are going to. You can verbalize all you want and in the end you might be wrong or you might be able to say I told you so (not really but you know what I mean). I hope things work out for your family.

Answer

I think you’ve let your sister and family know how you feel, now you have to step back and be supportive of your sister. I have been in somewhat of a similar situation and you’re only going to push your sister away. You want her to feel comfortable coming to you if things do turn bad and she won’t if she things all she’ll get is an “I told you so”.

Answer

Have you ever seen the show 90 day fiancé? Maybe this guy really does love your sister but unfortunately due to so many other people just simply wanting a green card it makes me feel iffy on the entire situation. Hope it works out for your sis but no I would talk to my sister and ask her to wait and really get to know the guy.

Answer

I’m sorry to say this but it sounds like you little jealous. You can’t put a number on love. How many days you might knew someone’s if you love someone you just know. She knows. You don’t have to know. It’s her business. How can you knit pick her relationship like that. Is your sister happy?? Does she approve??  I’m married now seven years and two children together and we happy after knowing each other less then a month. You sound harsh and you need to support her for her sake not yours. Your mom is being her mom. She is being amazing for supporting her daughter like this. Every mom should be like this.

Answer

Unless u hve a sure reason to sit out i think u should focus on being a part of ya sis life. Learn to take things as they come. If you have spoken your peace .... then that should give you rest. If you love your sis you will just be apart of her life and that may include wedding planning since its important to her. Focus on the end goal which is a functioning loving relationship with your sister and family....and try to do things that support that goal😘

Is it wrong that I don’t want to be part of my sisters wedding?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey