Hi!

So i need some help. *Long Post/rant*

Quick Background: Been married a little over 4 years. I am 39 seeks pregnant. We have always had communication issues which is not from my side. Ive always try to communicate issues but he does not do well with discussing hard issues. My husband struggles with talking to me or anyone eles for that matter. I love him dearly. He loves me but how exactly.. Well that is the question.

Me and my husband are going through marriage probelms. No infidelity or anything like that. My husband just feel he doesnt want to be with anyone. In February during deployment, "he told me he love me but does not love me like a husband should love a wife." (Exact words texted to me) When he returned home in april, we have been working on thing and try to be open and honest to eachother while dealing with his new found life crisis. Im almost 23 and he just turn 25. Ive asked if their is anyone eles but he says that there is not and just wants to be alone. Also he is going through a state where he hates his job and feel sorta miserable in life. I think he might have depression. We have started a journey into him getting a therapist to workout his problems.. I've been try to be very understanding and accommodating of his feeling such as not making him upset, trying to keep him from feeling guilty, ect. He says he loves me and he want to work on thing but he does not feel romantic toward me. Which is confusing because one day he is distant and next day...he seems like he loves me. He says he feels miserable and its making him not feel anything in life. I feel like im in a sorta black hole....im about to have my first child and im having a hard time not falling apart. I cry alot and i just realized that ive managed to hold it together and be supportive to my husband but my depression is starting to kick in. My husband apologizes for doing this to me and asks how he can help but the only thing i want is my loving affectionate husband back. It hurts worst of all that , he says he has felt this way for a long time....looking back at it...i think it might have been over a year or two. Him slowly difting away all this time with little thing such as less compliment, no communicating, bevoming more angry, needing to branch out more, him always blaming me for all arguement, sex drive diminishing and so on. I hate that now when there is a crack in our marriage...i finally see that there were so many sign. But most confusing of all is that back in septwmber to december....we were in a bliss. He said he were doing great....he wanted to keep the baby...everything . Now i feel like all of this was lies and im upset since he wanted the child while he been feeling this way all this time. I feel o sad and im looking for anything to understand my husband. I have noone to talk to about this problem so i have come here.

Back in February, i learned he had a female friend. His first female friend since being married. He says they are close and talk easy but there is no werid feeling. They are also coworkers. He in the service and i asked to meet her months ago but they do not hang out outside of work so it has not happen. They dont really message eachother outside of work either. Sometime, i will randomly ask how has his friend been or if they talk. He is always vague and says "yeah they talk " but stops the conversation there. However, i feel that i should get to know who she is. So, i thought about messaging her this on facebook:

"Hi! Id like to meet you one day. My hubby tell me yal are close so i thought it be normal to get to know you.

However, i worry that this might make thing werid between me and my husband. Or she might take it wrong. I was wondering if i should talk to him first about it but knowing him he will say dont do it. Im struggling to learn about what is going on with my husband while trying to maintain my sanity as he trys finding out what he wants in life. .... what do i do?