Well, technically we both lost it to each other. But he doesn’t know that.

Let me give a little background information. Think of my life as the plot of “Easy A”.

Yes, I was a virgin. Yet, everyone likes to assume. By my questionable choice of attire to my sexual innuendos, it was no wonder so many people were quick to label me as a “slut”. Did i let that get to me? No. I just went with it.

So maybe people did not call me a whore. But my entire friend group thought I wasn’t a virgin, just because I have more experience. I guess everything got to me to a point where I just accepted it.

Plus, most of the people I surround myself with are not virgins so I guess I lied to fit in.

Now you’re probably wondering, how does a virgin know so much about sex then. Porn. Enought said.

Well, I mean technically then you got your occasional teen films based on the idea of sex. But overall, porn.

Before I actually lost it, the farthest I went was getting fingered. And hickies. And to spontaneous make out sessions from my fellow rebounds. Is it bad to fall into sexual temptations?

Anyways, how I lost my virginity. I was with my friend. We will call her Rebel because that’s essentially what she is. She is my alter ego. I am more reserved and like to keep things to myself. She has a hoe account and is very open with her dreams and ambitions.

I was scrolling through snapchat and saw my friend’s story. This is him. We’ll call him A “Any plans today?” it said.

Rebel was going to a party later on for her cousin so I saw nothing wrong with him and i making plans.

He was very complicated. We were planning on watching a movie but figuring out the theatrw was difficult. He wanted somewhere close to him and I prefer either downtown or near me.

Then he suggested going to his house since his parents weren’t home. I knew how this would go, wasting 3 hours watching him play fortnite. I think not.

He then suggested my place. I didn’t have much except Netflix. Right away, he was like “Let’s Netflix and Chill”.

I don’t know what went through me. I agreed. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to hodl this burden that I was lying to everyone that I’m not a virgin. Maybe I was curious. Maybe I was just horny and needed someone to cuddle me.

In less than an hour he showed up on my front porch with a pack of condoms he got from his friend. He was scared to come to my front because he saw my dad.

I havent talked to my dad in months. Plus, he understands I’m a teenage girl and he can’t barge into my room whenever he wants. So eventually, I told A that and he finally went in.

I was watching 13 Reasons Why while waiting for him. It kept playing in the background.

He was very hesitant. Even just to be on the same bed as me. I didn’t balme him, it was his first time. But why am i not frightened? it was my first time too. did i convince even myself that i was not a virgin?

eventually he turned my head around and hesitated to kiss me. it has been a while since his last time kissing someone. he tried again.

making out led to taking our clothes off. taking our clothes off led to fingering. fingering led to me giving him a blowjob. which led to him putting on a condom. which led to sex. yea, i dont want to go into depth with that.

overall, i wasn’t weirded out by it. i felt indifferent actually. something that should have felt meaningful didn’t feel like anything to me. i wasn’t in pain. in fact, it felt like fixing a wedgie. or readjusting a tampon placement.

It has been a few days since. I texted him yesterday to see what’s up. Unfortunately, that conversation was much shorter than I expected.

I started off by saying “hey.”

He replies an hour later saying, “Hey I’ll talk to you later I have ball practice.”

I respond an hour later finally receiving the text and said “ok.”

No replies ever since. I believe it’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Is he feeling embarrassed or awkward. Or is he now think he is the shit because he had sex. I just don’t want our actions to reflect our friendship. I don’t want him to feel weird around me because he knows what I look like naked.