Deal with partner who doesn't communicate?

Question

Hi everyone:)
me and my bf of 3 years will be long distance for the next 2 years, 
I've been struggling with getting him to talk to me, he ignores my texts, calls and disappears when I ask to talk about our issues. It's only been 2 months so frustrated and cry myself to sleep everyday. Even if I ignore him and do my own things for a week he wouldn't text. We still agreed to travel in July but I'm not sure how we can fix problems when we are long distance and don't talk. So now we just talk once a week and only when I reach out.
It's frustrating because it's like he turns into a different person when he's away. We are really happy when we were together.
Is this normal?
How do you get someone to communicate when they just won't? 
Is it worth the pain or should I just move on? 
Any advice on long distance?

Answer

It sounds like he doesn’t know you two are in a relationship at all. Why keep putting yourself out there if it’s like you describe and you get zero attention?  Friend zone him and move on with life. You can’t have a relationship with no communication and you definitely can’t do long distance without having halfway decent communication skills.

Answer

You should move on. He isn’t even trying and you are going to just get hurt trying to get him to pay you attention. He just doesn’t seem interested. Like there isn’t one minute out of the day where he things .. ohh maybe I should call her or text her to let her know I’m alive. No he just disappears

Answer

My only advice is to move on. It sounds like he’s using the distance to slowly ghost you.

Answer

Hi there,
I can relate somewhat... I have done a lot of long distance and had this type of behavior come up sometimes. 
I don't want to freak you out, but you should consider all possibilities. Is he super busy at school/work? Is he a typically loner type person anyways, so maybe enjoying his alone time without social interactions? Is he afraid of confrontation and so keeps avoiding you when you want to talk about anything serious? Or is it possible he could be busy with someone else? I have had all four situations come up in various relationships...
In my case right now, my husband goes missing for sometimes weeks at a time, but usually this is because he does not have internet access (he lives in rural Ethiopia, and the networks are very bad there, and he also does not own a smart phone). Once when he went missing it was because he was attacked in the wilderness by bandits and almost died there. And once it really was that he was talking to someone else on social media, busy with them (given this was a time when our relationship was very rocky and I had asked for a divorce, he refusing, so I don't blame him completely).
I doubt that either one of these first two cases are what your man is going through, but if possibly in a low network area (these exist even in the US, I have been there), the first option could be possible. The third might be more likely, but I encourage you to find out for sure what is going on and then go from there on what your options are. In my case we pulled through it, and I am glad we did. So anything is possible, don't give up unless you come to the point where your heart tells you it is the right thing to do.
Long distance can be so hard, but it also can be a great chance for you to focus on yourself and your own personal goals.
Wishing you all the best sis.
More love,
Ama

Answer

Errr. That doesn't sound like a relationship!

Answer

Considering that communication is key in long distance it would be very hard to maintain a relationship if he's being like that. I just got out of a long distance relationship where communication was not the best that it could have been. In the beginning it was great but later on it changed and was one sided.  Sometimes I ended up making most of the effort and it would be very frustrating talking about issues and concerns. My ex even asked me "why did we need to speak everyday" and that hurt alot considering that we didn't see each other everyday.  I got really frustrated and would go to bed sad at times. Honestly it's not worth being frustrated over someone who could care less to hear from you or not make the effort. Since we broke up I feel so free and I'm not frustrated or worried about anything anymore. It's up to you to decide but just note that long distance is already really hard and it can be harder without little or no communication.  Whatever you do make sure you're happy. Good luck 😗😗

Deal with partner who doesn't communicate?

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