Secretly wanting another baby

I always told my hubby that if we didn't get pregnant by the time I'm 30 we weren't trying anymore. We have two beautiful babies. One is 2 (boy)and the other just turned 9wks. I have no complaints with my first born but with my second pregnancy my body always hurt and had bad restless legs. I had also developed preeclampsia in my third trimester and had to be induced at 38wks because it got worse.

I didn't want another baby after I had her and neither did he. But he keeps bringing up from time to time that if he wasn't getting older(31) he would have more. He has 2 other kids, one he just recently was allowed to see and the other he hasn't seen in a few yrs.

I feel very blessed with my two babies but miss being pregnant and he has told me he would have a break down if I got pregnant again. I hope this feeling goes away that I want to be pregnant again and I fear if i was to that I would get preeclampsia again and that alone was so scary. Plus we were having a lot of problems.

What should I do about this?

Please no rude or judgemental comments.

And no I'm not talking to my husband about this. (These thoughts just recently started.