This is a very difficult topic for me to discuss so that’s why I am writing it anonymously.

My daughter is 1. She’s very independent and has a strong personality already. My husband thinks I’m crazy but I really feel like my daughter doesn’t prefer me at all. My husband says she’s too young for that kind of behavior but I disagree with him.

Right now me and my husband’s schedules don’t align very well. I work during the day and he works during the night. We don’t see each other during the week very much (except on the days I work from home but I’m working so it’s not like we can hang out).

I take our daughter to my parents house and they mind her until 4, then I pick her up and take care of her the rest of the night. My daughter doesn’t see my SO except on the weekends. So I can understand why she is glued to his side every Saturday and Sunday. She misses him like crazy and she is 💯 a daddys girl which I love the close relationship they have.

The problem is my feelings are seriously getting hurt because I feel like my daughter only tolerates me, she doesn’t prefer me and will ditch me as soon as someone better is around.

Everyday I pick her up from my parents house I love on her and kiss her and try to make her laugh. She doesn’t even smile when she sees me. She throws a fit when I try to buckle her in her car seat to take her home. I sing to her, bring a toy with me every day for the car ride home, I turn on the radio, sometimes I put the windows down, etc. I try anything I can think of to distract her, make her happy, make spending time with mommy “fun”.

We get home, I change her (she tries to throw herself off her changing table) she kicks the hell out of me, she throws a fit. All I want to do is change her diaper. I have tried talking sternly to her but that makes her behavior worse. She seems to respond better to positive reinforcement.

After that, I put her in her high chair and give her dinner. We eat together, just me and her. But she won’t even look at me. Sometimes she ignores me but will open her mouth for food. Sometimes she will feed herself and if I try to help she will toss everything on the floor. Sometimes she will just cry until I let her out.

I let her play for 30 minutes with her toys. If she lets me I will get down on the floor with her and we will play together. Sometimes she will get mad and bite me or strike me in the face with a toy. Some days she seems happy for a little while during this time.

After dinner and play time I take her for a walk to the park down the block. She throws a tantrum when I put her in the stroller. She’s happy if I put her in the toddler back pack but I don’t take her in that often because it’s back breaking. And she constantly pulls my hair when she’s in it. Once I start walking though she’s pretty content to be outside looking at everything. We sing songs as we go along. I like this part of the day. Some days she is ready to go home as soon as I get to the park so I turn around and we go home. She throws a fit the whole way. I will turn on some music on my phone and this makes her happy for about 10 seconds until she screams because I won’t allow her to hold the phone herself (because she will just chuck it on the ground).

After we get home, it’s bath time. Usually by this point I’ve given up using the changing table for the day and I strip her down on the way to the bathroom. She likes the tub. I wash her, let her play for a bit and I get her out.

Pajamas are the absolute worst.

There’s really nothing I have found that will calm her enough to get her into pajamas faster than 15 minutes. It’s like wrestling a pissed off octopus.

When I’m done I’m usually sweating a bit but I (try) to cuddle her and read her a bedtime story. Sometimes she listens, sometimes she tries to rip out all the pages.

I give her some milk and I attempt to love on her before I put her to bed. She typically prefers to drink her milk on the living room rug, sprawled out next to her big brown bear and her blanket. She rubs her blanket against her cheek until her eyes start her roll back.

She’s too sleepy to fight me and I get to snuggle her for a few minutes. I kiss her forehead and run my fingers through her curls. It’s the only time I get to when she’s not swatting me across the face or trying to bite me.

I turn on her lullaby and put her in he crib. She doesn’t even cry anymore. She just lays back and drifts off to sleep.

I get ready for bed and the next day I start it all over again.

It’s pretty normal toddler behavior. But she acts completely different for my parents and for my husband. She’s an absolute delight and an angel. On the weekends she doesn’t even acknowledge me. She smiles at my husband as soon as he walks in the room. She bolts away from me and into his arms. She lays her head on him and constantly has to be leaning against him or holding his hand or being held by him. She doesn’t fight him when he changes her. She laughs all through bath time and she is an enthusiastic eater when he’s home. She has to have what daddy has.

My parents send me pictures and videos of her all throughout the day when they watch her and she always seems so happy and playful. Nobody believes me when I say she constantly gives me a hard time. I don’t understand it.

Guys it’s really getting to me and hurting my heart. I carried her inside me for 9 months, I painfully and traumatically underwent a 3 day birth. I breast fed her for 6 months, I’ve been the only one who’s gotten up with her at night for the last year. I comfort her, and feed her and work my ass off so she can have everything she needs. I just don’t know why I don’t feel like she is bonded to me. It’s a weird feeling. I love her to death but I don’t feel anything from her.

Today it was hurting me so bad and I broke down in tears after putting her to bed. My husband told me to stop throwing myself a pity party and that I’m imagining everything. That she’s a baby and incapable of all those complex emotions. That I want there to be something wrong so I’m creating an issue where there is none.

I’m so confused guys.

I know my husband isn’t around enough to see her every day behavior. But is this normal? It makes me wonder if I am imagining things or exaggerating it. I don’t think I am. My husband is a terrific husband and father but he doesn’t believe in talking things out, or depression or mental health issues. That’s one of his flaws. And typically it doesn’t bother me but in this case it does because I don’t want my daughter to grow up resenting her mother.

I had counseling when I was pregnant because I felt depressed and overwhelmed. After I gave birth it seemed to subside and everything was fine. But now at the one year mark I’m starting to feel depressed again. Has this happened to anyone else?

It’s so embarrassing to talk about because none of my friends have this problem and all of their kids want the moms more than dads.

Please give advice if you can.

Thanks