RANT (long)

So my baby is 2 months old. He is my first, me and my husband have tried for 1 1/2 year to have him. My entire pregnancy I’ve always worried about whether or not he was okay. I bought a Doppler for peace of mind. My grandmother rolled her eyes and laughed at me and said I need to stop worrying about him and hes fine. I wasn’t allowed to feel concerned about my baby. At least that’s how I felt :( I felt so embarrassed when I asked anyone questions about what’s normal because I was worried about my son. I also have anxiety. I would do just fine when he moves but he had his days when he didn’t want to move and when I would use the Doppler I would get laughed at. Yeah I might have been overreacting but like I said hes my first. Then when my son was born, I’m all about safe sleep, (no blankets in crib, absolutely nothing but baby in a sleep sack, no co sleeping etc.) I felt like I was walking on eggshells when I would tell my mother or my grandmothers how he slept, they said “Oh my god quit worrying we had all of you guys just fine and they slept with us”. Every little concern I have for him I basically get laughed at and it really bothers me because I’m trying to do what’s best for my son. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety so I’m being medicated for it. So it makes things worse when I’m concerned for my son and feel embarrassed to ask anyone just because I feel like I’ll get laughed at. Sorry just needed to vent :(