Hi, my baby was born May 26th at 28 weeks 4 days. I’m thrilled I was able to carry her as long as I did. I developed pre e at 25 weeks and my liver enzymes kept increasing on the day of her birth indicating hellp syndrome. I had her naturally. At first she was only on the ventilator but today she had to take a step back and be put on an oscillator. She’s 2 days old. I’ve been crying constantly because I feel like I’ve completely failed her as a mother and she should still be inside of me. I just want her to be okay. I had 4 steroid shots for her lungs but the placenta was so damaged that none of the medicine even reached her. The doctors say she’s doing really good and this step back will give her a chance to start producing surfactant on her own. My head understands but my heart aches for her.