When my mom was 18 she got married to my step dad.

She really wanted to have a baby but my step father was having some issues at the time, so when my mom was 22 she stepped out of the marriage and had a fling with a coworker.

She ended up getting pregnant with me (on purpose) and promised my biological father he could still be in my life. Well some things went sour and my mom took me and fled.

My stepfather ultimately forgave my mother and raised me like I was his own flesh and blood. He took my in his arms after my mother’s c section and I was his daughter.

My biological father was mad at my mother for not giving me his last name and raising me with my stepdad. But he never took her to court for visitation, he never paid one cent of child support, he never held me or spoke with me on the phone or even tried to be civil to my mother for my sake.

Meanwhile I grew up in a wonderful family. My stepdads fertility issues were resolved and my parents went on to have 2 more children after me. My mom completed nursing school and my dad started his own business. I had a great childhood with loving parents and great memories.

As an adult I became naturally curious about my biological father, not because I didn’t already have a father figure in my life, but just sheer curiosity. I connected with one of my cousins on Facebook and we chatted back and forth for a week or so. She sent me a message saying “Here’s your dads number. Call him because he wants to talk to you.” That really irked me. Like I’m 30 years old. Why does he want to speak with me after all these years?

Well I was reluctant at first but I felt bad for him. I thought that my mother was being hateful by not allowing me to see him. But as I spoke with him I realized something wasn’t right. His personality was very extreme. One minute he was “telling me I’m the love of his life and I have his heart” and the next I was a “rude ungrateful bitch”.

After several large red flags and another crazy outburst where he told me he hated me and he didn’t want me for a daughter and to never speak to him again, I blocked his number and didn’t respond. That was 6 weeks ago and I haven’t had the urge to talk with him since. My cousins and aunts on his side of the family think I’m overreacting and all this will blow over because that’s just how he is. But I don’t think I will bother to contact him again. He’s bipolar and obviously needs help but I am not going to be the one to offer it. He hasn’t been in my life for 30 years and I’ve turned out wonderful. I didn’t need him then and I won’t need him in the future.

Everyone is trying to guilt trip me because I am his only child but frankly I don’t see how that’s my fault. I love my life and I don’t want to be obligated to have someone so toxic be in it. My father is my step dad. He has been my dad from day one. I love him. My biological father can go to hell.