I have 3 children that were never planned. So when we actually want to have our 4th and final child I never knew how much I would struggle to conceive. I pee on opk's, time the sex, use fertility lube, diet, exercise, drink more water. why is this so difficult now? And I know it sounds petty as I already have 3 children. But my fiance wants to try for a boy. I know there are women out there fighting tooth and nail for the 1st baby, but this is what my heart wants. I always dreamed of having a big family as I only had one sister and she has struggled with fertility for 15 years. I have to make sure I have enough babies for both of us. I still hold on to faith that one day it will happen for her and for me. Just frustrated I suppose. please no judging or nasty comments. Just getting my feelings out.