I think I hate my husband

So I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. We have three beautiful girls. Two are biologically mine, one is not. We have split up recently and got back together. I have came to the conclusion that he has a drinking problem. I pay all of the bills myself he does nothing. All of his time goes to his friends and his money goes on his habit. Financially I’m drowning, I’m stressed out! I feel like a single mother, he doesn’t help out with the kids or around the house and I work 6days a week to keep a roof over my family’s head. He constantly is mean to me, and accuses me of making up lies and stories about when he gets drunk and he wakes up the next day like nothing ever happened. There is no communication, I can’t talk to him about anything. He makes me so angry. There is no sexual contact, no feelings at all half the time I can’t stand to be in the same room.i know we shouldn’t be together and I feel like he’s just using me to have a place to live . I can’t just leave because I’ll have to give up everything and start over new. When I left the last time he let me leave with my girls clothes and my own and that was it. He racked up bills in my name. I filed for divorce and it was denied. I feel like I’m on the verge of breaking down. I’ve always tried to stay positive and not let my girls see my struggle or let them see mommy break down. But it’s so hard! It’s like there is no hope. I don’t know what to do. I’m not allowed to associate with anyone. I’m always stranded without my car. He has put my job in jeopardy quite a few times.I literally go to work and go home me and my kids are confined to the house. No social media nothing! He will take off for 24/48 hours at a time knowing I have to work or the kids have school. I know the right thing to do is get the hell out! But I have no friends or family to help. His family hates me and has hardly anything to do with my kids. How do i escape??? FML 😢😭