im trying to remain on the path if what i know is moral and right and i know this fella sent to me is a challenge of my moral compass and the faith in my relationship. i find myself wondering why this friend does more thoughtful gestures towards me than my own boyfriend. it has be questioning my relationship to begin with. now i havent acted on anything, just openly expressed my feelings in hopes that getting it off my chest would help my mind more than bottling it up. it seems like a can of worms and a stupid idea to expect it to go away now that I've spoken up.

i dont want to tell my boyfriend comparably that i dont think he is thoughtful enough because he expresses himself differently, and i dont want to change anything about how he is who he is. but i do wish he thought of the ways to do or say sweet things in the way i think of him and do for him. i told myself recently that im done spoiling him and doing so much because its just a black hole and doesnt really get returned.

hes very patient and understanding, but almost self absorbed because i find myself on his mind very little unless he has a purpose or trigger to think of me, or talk to me.

it's got me thinking im too high maintenance sometimes.

any opinions?