mixed emotions

Basically just a vent. My husband & I tried for 5 months, May 9th I got a faint positive, 6 days before AF. A few days later (on mothers day), I Miscarried at 5 weeks 2 days. I was told by 1 Dr to wait 3 months, another said once ovulation & periods were back to normal we could try again. I used opks just to see & I got a positive right on time on day 15. The next night my husband & I had a date night, had a few drinks, & drunkenly decided not to use any protection. Part of me hopes I see another positive this month, part of me is praying I dont so that I dont jeopardize another pregnancy by not waiting.