Hi everyone. I wasn’t sure if I was going to post this or wait until the appt, but that appt is 2 weeks away and I’m not sure how I will make it through these next couple weeks keeping this to myself. So I am going to post this here and just hope you guys continue to be thoughtful and sensitive as I continue on this journey. If you have read my previous posts you would know this has already been stressful. You would know that on Tuesday I received a call from my OBs office letting me know that they were referring me to a perinatologist in the maternal fetal medicine department and I would be receiving a call from that office to set up the appt by the end of this week. That call came yesterday evening with a message saying they received the referral and to call their office this morning to set up the appt. So I called, they said that I needed to come in sometime between June 15th and June 29th and made the appt for June 19th. They said there’s some patient forms and genetic forms they need filled out to be brought to the appt that I needed to pick up. I was going to be near the office today for an appt for my 6 yr old so I went by after to pick them up. They told me while I was there that the appt will take somewhere between an hour and a half to 2 hours to do the level 2 ultrasound my referral requests. I said oh wow, she said yes this essentially will be your 20 week anatomy scan. I thought, checked glow and said but I won’t be 20 weeks? I’ll be 18+4. My OB generally does the anatomy scan between 20-22 weeks so this caught me off guard since he’s the one that referred me. They also requested a copy of the dating scan from last Friday. When they sent next door to my obs office for it I asked if I could have a copy. They told me I could go to my obs office and sign a release for the dating scan report and get a copy. So I finished up there and they told me I would get pictures that day and they do 3D too, they were very very nice. I went next door to my obs office requested the copy, signed the release, she gave me the copy and said okay we’ll see you on the 7th for your routine appt. I got to the car opened the envelope and read the report and completely fell apart. It is now I know why they’re referring me to the specialist...I don’t know what to think right now. Their office just told me not to think too deeply into it until we see what the level 2 scan shows. I am so scared. I see you guys excited and sharing all your wonderful news and planning baby showers, and names, and waiting for all these milestones. I have never been so scared in my life and for now all those things for me aren’t even things I can try to think about right now. I am praying. I am trying to stay positive and just breathe. I am unsure which way this is all going and I’ve never felt more helpless. I feel guilty posting this in some ways. I know we’re all here to support each other in different ways, but I don’t know that anyone including myself would know the right words to say. I wasn’t going to share this but we haven’t been ready to announce to family or friends yet so no one knows and now with this announcing really isn’t priority. So the only ones that know anything is you guys. It’s amazing how the things you think are such big problems suddenly seem so small when life comes in and puts it all into perspective. Suddenly every moment is precious...please send prayers. Thank you guys for letting me cry and ramble as I’m trying to process what may be ahead. Hoping it’s just a fluke due to it being a limited scan and that everything will be well at the level 2. Here is a screenshot of the report so you guys can see for yourself.

This is the radiology report from my ultrasound last Friday. Today I am 16 weeks.

**the last part of the line you can’t see says ....further evaluation with high risk OB ultrasound exam would be warranted.