Lately, we’ve had a major hiccup in trying. A few months ago, we had a miscarriage. But about a month after the miscarriage, my body has turned against me in the worst way. I am in a long process of being diagnosed with my best case scenario being Crohn’s disease, and worst case being something in the stomach cancer spectrum.

As much as I’d love to see those pink lines, I also dread them now, at least until we have this health issue properly diagnosed and treated. I keep thinking that with my luck, I’ll get pregnant and my digestive disorder will cause nutrition problems for the baby and the baby will make treatments to alleviate the problem much more difficult to approach.

And of course, now I’m noticing that I smell EVERYTHING when it is a week before my period is due. Have I created a self fulfilling prophecy? Only time will tell. I’m not sure if I’ll be happy or sad for the pink lines. But it’ll certainly complicate an already complicated situation.