I’ve been so stressed & exhausted I chose to finally stop pushing my body way past it’s limit & let’s see how long this lasts. I’m 23 weeks pregnant living in NY while my boyfriend lives in CT & so far we’ve bought everything that baby needs. At times it gets tough living in two different states from saving up to move in with him & getting a apartment to me having to pay the expenses of living here & preparing for the baby, it’s not easy & he does so little. Don’t get me wrong he works full time too but the extra time I put in has to stop I’ve been getting stressed mentally & physically I walk blocks to get my car from parking that is so so pricey & have to carry heavy laundry & groceries up these unsturdy stairs of my apartment plus working OT. The extra time I use working he’s at the gym working on his “MMA career” at this point he’s getting furious about me mentioning to him getting a second job while I get my OT hours cut & I feel like I’m not wrong! I’ve done his cut as a man & it’s time for me to rest. I told him for maternity leave I can’t stress paying rent for just that month, he has so much extra time he could be working like I HAVE. The least he could do is give me that month to financially breathe. It’s not easy but I’ve been doing it & all I want is some help for once! He thinks buying me take out when I’m craving is supporting the baby & I & I can’t help but roll my fucking eyes, anytime I ask for financial help he gets annoyed meanwhile he has so little living expenses compared to I. Every time I come down to visit he has new training wear, sneakers & clothes meanwhile I can’t even treat myself saving up. I have most of the money for the apartment saved & every time I tell him we need to have the security deposits & rent ready by the first week of August he says he will but it sounds iffy.

By the way I work with mentally challenged adults 3-11pm & 11pm-8am overnights when needed (which is most of the time). Excuse my constant complaining but I had a rocky pregnancy most of it he’s been a toxic ass that he has been working on but with his ways & my family’s ways I’ve been drained. I at least wanted a baby shower you know & they all refused saying “it was nothing to celebrate”, “a waste of money” & that they won’t be helping. Everything could be way worse but can I at least enjoy my pregnancy for once.