What should I be doing ?

So I really don’t know how to go about this ...! I have two kids one age 7 and one 2 and currently pregnant me and my husband have been married since we were 18 and 19 we are know 25 and 24 through the past years we have been through a lot through financial stress problems but have always rode it out and thankgod weve been set for good time know in those rough patches my husband would verbally abuse me I always taught it was due to stress and how young we started but somehow the verbal abuse never stopped I think it got worst from being put down every day to your useless stupid can’t do shit right to me being fearful if I felt like I did something wrong cause I knew how mad he would get but the insults have always been said in front of my kids to me crying begging him to change and not treat me like that yes I didn’t work at the time but I cooked cleaned took care of the kids did what a wife was suppose to do to me going to bed alone and me telling him to come and hug him but somehow his phone and PlayStation where way more important to me asking him let’s go out on dates but somehow if there was a concert or beer festival or something he already had the tickets and date set with his sibling and friends to me always being at home and never having outing without the kids ... even to get !!!my nails done take your kids with you I mean I got fed up !!! My daughter started school and I meet someone in pta this guy started giving me compliments going out his way to do stuff when he didn’t have to ... well I FREAKIN fell for it no I did not catch feelings I just felt pretty and wanted it felt like someone saw through my flaws and didn’t notice how stupid or useless I was I ended up having an affair with him but at that time I had ended things with my husband he had left the house and kept telling me how much he loved me and missed the kids and needed us but i was so furious at the FACT that he saw everything lost and realized he loved us what BS! Was that and that’s when the affair happen it came from anger frustration and HURT!!! My husband new I had went out with someone that day he was sad and hurt but he said he had led me to it once that was done I knew I didn’t love or care for this man I knew I loved my husband I ended things with him and focused on myself ... my daughter was missing her dad like crazy so he would come and pick her up and take her to spend the night my husband started sending me flowers cute texts calling me caring but I still was upset 3 weeks passed he came back saying it was expensive commuting back and forth from where he was to work and home so he asked if he could stay in daughter room and I said yes as that went by I saw things getting better his attitude his emotions so I slowly let him back in and let me tell you he had changed !... he had his days but I felt like he was in. A better state of mind this time we were Doing so well until Mother’s Day the guy I had an affair with messages him with videos that day and his family my best friend had encouraged him to reach out to him and show him the videos (NOT SUCH A BEST FRIEND) long story short those videos got to my husband cousins to getting my mother in law cause she went and asked her what to do to her mom and my Husband everyone came to my house not so much against me but asking what was going on everyone was so confused .... he was hurt and felt betrayed !!!! I know he has every reason to be mad hurt betrayed every type of emotion he has asked for divorce and stuff he then says we’ll see how it goes or idk yet which I understand but then he’ll come looking for me or have sex with me be so passionate and loving and ask to why I did it and I tell him why how I felt at that moment and instant but he says I’m a whore and sluth and that he has always tried to love me but he can’t get himself too ... he’ll put me down call me names make me look at the stuff he send me screaming out am a whore and my daughter is literally in the other room I’ve cried I’ve said sorry I’ve been mad I’m remorsefuly sorry for what i did I went to a therapist I got to a dark place I don’t have anyone really around me as family idk what else to say or do idk if I’m wrong or he is but I’m trying for the kids and deep down I care for him but it’s like he lets me in and shuts me down he won’t hug or rub my belly won’t do nothing he won’t sleep with me ask how I’m doing I have been having a high risk pregnancy and I’ve recently got diagnosed with a major health issue and he tells me that I deserve all that and if I die too that he doesn’t nor one bit feel sorry for me or the need to help me