How normal is it to suppress traumatic memories from childhood? My whole life I've thought I had a near perfect childhood, but as I've gotten older I've started to remember things. I feel like I'm going crazy or taking fictional dreams too far.

For example, I've always HATED one of my uncles. He was always loud, crude, and made me feel uncomfortable. I keep having a reoccurring dream about him. I know for sure that we used to stay at his house and me and my siblings would sleep on the floor in the living room when I was about 8. I know for sure that I peed in my sleep during one of those trips. In my dream though, he laid on the floor with me and put his hand in my pants and that's why I peed. He curses at me, gets mad and leaves me laying on the floor in my pee. I don't know if it really happened or not, but he's done other inappropriate things as I've gotten older like inviting me to come stay with him when I was 17 so we could smoke weed and drink. I said no and avoided him. I always tried to avoid him.

There's also another memory I have of my older step brother. He's 8 years older than me. He was always cruel to me. Him and his friends would lock me in my room for hours when my parents weren't home and they would dangle me by my ankles from our second floor stairway over a concrete floor. They thought it was hilarious. Anyway, I had a dream that he locked me in the bathroom with him one day and wouldn't let me leave until I touched his penis. I have no clue how old i was, but it was most likely in 2nd or 3rd grade. Thankfully him and my step dad had a falling out soon after and he stopped coming over.

Anyway, all of these dreams have been coming periodically for the last couple of years. They're reoccurring and they feel so real. I always wake up trembling and crying, but I don't know if they really happened or not.

Is it possible that none of the actual sexual abuse ever happened and it's all in my head? (I know for sure all the other stuff happened)

Thankfully neither of these people are in my life anymore and I want to just pretend like none if it is real, but it would honestly explain a lot about me and who I am and I can't help but think that it was all very real.

Does anyone have any insight or advice if you've gone through this before?