Emotional affair

I found out that my husband has been having an emotional affair for a while now. He says he didn’t realize what it was until I figured it out. He thought he had just found a friend in another women and that she was a buddy and everything was harmless. This girl works for my husband so they have to have contact almost daily. My husband and I have been distant lately with no intimacy sexually or just regular. I have been fighting depression and anxiety so he said that he would talk to her so he wouldn’t hurt me. This caused a lot of lieing on his part. He tried to hide it from me. When I finally saw noticeable t d flags, I confronted him on cheating. He denied cheating and got made that I would accuse him of that. But he said he wouldn’t talk to her anymore unless it was work related. I was out of town for almost two weeks and I found out that on the last night I was gone, he invited her over for dinner. He cooked for her. He was smart enough to invite her at a time I was busy and wouldn’t be watching out camera that is out side and looks at the drive way, he turned it off and she came through the garage. He said nothing happened. They ate and waited a tv show and then he said it was time for her to go. He said he was lonely and just wanted company. My dilemma is we have been together for 16 years. All of my adult life, since I was 15. We have two children. What do I do? Try to trust him and trust that nothing sexual happened between them? I am so confused and hurt and I’m suffering here. I can’t keep feeling this way but I can’t get it to stop. Has anyone gone through this? Help me.

**update**

I found out because my niece who lives with us came home unexpectedly and saw her sitting on the couch and he was cooking. He asked her not to tell. She gave him a week to come clean and he didn’t so she told me.

I’m confused because he’s never acted this way. He has always been loyal and anti cheating. He’s never lied to me. He’s always been the perfect husband. His mom died too around this time. It’s been a lot of things happening all at once. I don’t know what to do. I still love him.