I’m 37 weeks exactly today, and I’m a huge ball of nerves. Not because of the impending delivery (although that does make me nervous, too), but because some part of me has always been convinced that I’d lose this baby too.

In the back of my mind, I feel like I’m going to lose him any day and my time with him will come to an end before I even get to meet him. It makes every ache and pain nerve wracking. I’m trying to relax because chances are things will be fine, but I know that stillbirths do happen. I’m constantly prodding at my belly to get him to move when he’s been quiet for a while, just to make sure he’s still alive.