The only way I can describe it is that you have a shitty dining table that you hate, and then you get a new and better dining table that you love more than anything. You push the old dining table into the corner, you don’t look at it, you don’t touch it, you don’t go near it, you hate it, but it’s still there. It’s just sitting there, taking up space. So to get rid of the dining table, you need to pick it up and take it to the dump. And once the old shitty dining table is gone, the new, perfect, loveable dining table has the whole room to itself. That’s why I messaged my ex today. By telling him I forgive him, I was taking his shitty-dining-table-arse to the dump so that I don’t have something that I hate, taking up space in my mind.

I know what you’re thinking, that I must still have feelings for my ex if I messaged him. But I absolutely don’t have any feelings for him except disgust!!!

I saw a post on here about a woman wanting to catch up with her ex to let him know she forgives him. And it hit me like a tonne of rocks. I have been holding onto so much anger because of a guy I dated in 2016. He was a lying, cheating narcissist and being with him really affected my mental health. I was anxious, stressed, emotional, depressed. It was awful.

He NEVER admitted when he lied or cheated. Whenever I brought up any issues with him or pointed out the inconsistencies in his stories, he would create more lies, turn it around on me and convince me that I was causing drama to get attention. It was super unhealthy and awful.

Anyway, after breaking up with that dipshit, I started dating one of my best friends. He is the most amazing man in the world and I could not imagine finding anyone I love more than him. 😍 We have been together for 20 months and I genuinely believe we are meant to spend the rest of our lives together.

But even though I am so freaking happy with the love of my life, I would still have these moments of anxiety and stressing and being completely overwhelmed and panicked, and I knew it have a lot to do with my ex.

So I wanted to message my ex a few months ago to find out why he lied to me. I thought that I needed some sort of closure. My partner told me that he would support me if I wanted to do it but it would seem like I still had feelings for my ex if I messaged him. So I didn’t message him out of respect for my partner.

Then today, reading the other woman’s post, I realised that I didn’t need answers, I just needed to forgive him for being a wanker and move on. And I messaged him to let him know I forgave him because that’s what I needed to do for me to let go of the issues I have because of him (and maybe to take one more stab at him and call him out on his bullshit haha 😏). But the guy STILL continues to deny everything despite the fact that I have proof of what he did.

I know this sounds stupid but it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I told him I forgive him and then I blocked him.

It has been liberating.