I decided I needed to share my miscarriage story since I haven’t been able to grieve because I have had to be the strong one and but on the happy face for everyone who knew about my pregnancy and then was deeply upset when I lost it.

Let’s start off on may 13th af was due but I hadn’t had signs all day so I took a test there was a faint line so I posted a poll on glow and half said vfl other said bfn then later that night what I thought was aunt flow came so I didn’t test again . Flash forward two weeks I have reached my fertile week and wanted to try opks for the first time so I went and bought a pack of opks by FRER and they come with 8 opks 1 hpt so when I got home since it was mid day I did an opk and it was almost positive so I run in the room and was like let’s get to baby dancing and I showed my SO the opk and he goes wow those look like positive pregnancy tests , I bet a lot of girls prank there boyfriends with those on April fools and we had a laugh then baby danced. After that something told me take that pregnancy test what’s it gonna hurt you know it’s gonna be negative, well it definitely wasn’t it was a BFP , I was shaking with excitement we had been trying 2 years I thought this day would never come. So I run outside and my so and his friend are working on the car so I just hand him the test and he goes are you messing with me 😂😂 I said if course not but isn’t it ironic and he literally just stands there with a smile speechless, this is were my story is gonna piss some people off cause it damn sure pissed me off . Tony my SOs friend was there for the whole thing he says congrats your gonna be a daddy to my so , then get ready , he had the nerve of all nerves to say that we should get an abortion because we aren’t “mature” or “ready” for a baby , this is coming from a guy who pays for escorts and doesn’t were a condom he thinks the pull out method is efficient 🙄😡 he says this too us cause apparently me and my so fight to much 😂😂 we literally only argue about adult things like money and our budget cause my so likes to spend all his paycheck in one week and I’m frugal I could make his paycheck last a month , and cause we live we my SO parents which is by choice because his dad has diabetes and had to have an amputation so we pay all the bills now and take care of everything there’s even a spare bedroom that they said can be my nursery and it’s right next to own room, we could get our own place but that would mean his parents would have to go into a home and they are only in there 60’s , I seriously about lost it on this dude girls me and my so literally just started at him in silence like I couldn’t even comprehend it . Finally they get done working on the car and he leaves thank god so I start cooking dinner and I keep getting really faint and having bad cramps , I had been spotting for a week on and off I thought it was ovulation but as you already know it wasn’t so I finish dinner and go to the hospital, they run test after test and all they can tell me is that I am pregnant and that’s it’s two early to tell I should have been atleast 3-6 weeks but they kept telling me 1-2 weeks based off my levels which were 19 and my last period may 13-17 which I have doubts that was even a period I honestly think it was the start of my miscarriage , so they send me home and tell me to rest . Next morning I wake up covered in sweat so I go to take a shower and that’s when I noticed the blood , there was so much of it my heart had sunk I knew exactly what had happened and I had tried to tell the doctors, my SO helped me get cleaned up so I could go to the hospital , he was so upset he stayed home and worked on his car so nobody could see him cry it literally made my heart break out of 2 years I’ve never seen him so upset . Once I get to the hospital they run test after test again but it was a different doctor then the day before and this doctor is who I wish I had the day before I honestly think he would have atleast tried something to save my baby , he comes in and starts apologizing because he was confirming I had a miscarriage and he told me that the doctor should have noticed that I was about to miscarriage the day before he said they could have atleast tried progesterone or something , to possibly stop the miscarriage cause I was only spotting lightly at that time . I was so pissed I wanted to find the doctor from the day before and punch him in the nether region. So once again we’re back in the race for ttc , I only bled for 4 days but it was like the Carrie movie in my pants and the cramps were unreal . I can’t help but think if I would have listened to my gut and went to the doctor the second I seen that faint line before af even arrived I could have saved my bundle of joy but I’ll never know ...