On November 1st, 2017 we found out we were pregnant with our third child. We were trying and were so excited but then i started feeling like i wasnt ready for the baby and i felt like something was wrong with it. My doctor wouldnt do an ultra sound until 18 weeks for the anatomy scan no matter how much i begged to get one earlier because my blood work was fine and the heart beat was strong. Finally Febuary 15th,2018 i go for my anatomy scan, we find out its a boy and when i get home i get a call from my doctor personally so i know something isnt right. she tells me to come in to get another scan the next day because something looked off near the abdomen but shes not sure if its just the computer she used(it was having problems giving proper scans). Well sure enough something was wrong. His intestines were outside of his skin and his heart was in the wrong place. They told me he had a 5% chance of surviving birth and if he did he would be brought straight to surgery before i could even see him and had a low chance of suriving it and would have a life time of surgeries. My fiance and i made the extremely hard decision to not continue the pregancy and have to watch his suffer once he was here. On March 2nd Axel James entered and exited this world and i never even got to see him before they took him. All i have are his 2 ultra sound pictures and his ashes. Now only 2 short months after i had my baby taken from me i just found out i am pregnant again and i am absolutely terrified something will go wrong again and i will loose this baby too.