I can’t enjoy the big things or little...

My son is 9 days old. We got home when he was 5 days old. When he was 7 days old I had to send my husband to rehab, I have a 2 year old and an 8 year old. I am postpartum to the max. I had a c section with no time to recover. No time to do anything for myself. No sleep, don’t eat. I’m breastfeeding. I’m so angry and hurt by my husband but I know it’s where he has to be. What had to be done. I don’t want my kids to walk out and find him dead. Or myself. I just wish I could enjoy my newborn, my other kids. But everything is so consumed into what is going on. How do I stop being so angry?