Soooooooo pissed 😤

So I just left a consult with my OBGYN about having to get a LEEP and can I just say I’m furious. Not with her she’s great but with the fact that I have to deal with this at all. Why me?! I got vaccinated against HPV in high school I used condoms with my partners and we got tested frequently. Then in my mid twenties I get into the worst relationship of my life. He was manipulative, emotionally abusive and just downright a horrible person but sometimes the heart wants what it wants... long story short I thought we were monogamous and I had. I reason to think otherwise so we didn’t use condoms. Now 3 years later my now husband and I are ready to start trying to have a baby. And my pap comes back abnormal. Im pissed I have to get surgery because some dipshit gave me HPV. Not only does this mean surgery but it means no baby... no trying for a baby for at least 6 months.... I’m feeling very heartbroken and discouraged.