My mother’s severely obese help

So I need advice because I’m not sure I always handles things the best. My mom came to visit and just cut her visit short because I couldn’t take it anymore and I started telling her my feelings.

She is constantly tearing me down and complaining about me normally about things I can’t help or shouldn’t be my issue.

Example- when she first arrived she said she didn’t bring her suitcase inside because my apartments so small. I went to the gym this morning and came home to get ready for an outing with her. So I took a shower, did my hair and put on a little makeup. She felt the need to tell me that she brought all that stuff but she didn’t really enjoy wearing it and didn’t feel the need to spend such a large time on herself.

I never asked her to wear it why did she insist on tearing me down for wanting to feel attractive.

She huffed and puffed when getting into my truck she had to go backwards down my stairs absolutely everything is difficult for her. It’s scary how out of shape she is. She is 52.

What finally set me off was when we went and looked at the new brewery that my husband and i are building and she said that’s nice I don’t know what things are but “that’s nice”

I said you want me to explain something to you? “No I don’t like beer so I don’t know what anything means. “

Shouldn’t she care what I do with myself alll day everyday?

She complained to me about the tub in my bathroom being taller then hers so she she had a hard time getting in and out of it.

What am I supposed to do remodel my bathroom so she is comfortable when she stays with me?

She told she thinks I’m ashamed of her so she never says anything. But that makes the situation worse. I am embarrassed by her her never acknowledging people around me and acting awkward and mad make it worse .

She came to my wedding without doing her hair and constantly complained about the venue because it was so far from the parking area. Then said she didn’t want to be in any pictures because she looks awful and huge next to me. ( I paid for everything)

I love her but absolutely nothing makes her happy.

Also side note she volunteered to watch my son while I went to the gym. When I got back she said her knees were hurting so she just let him cry it out.

Couldn’t she just call me? I hate that she just let him lay in the floor and cry for an hour.

She always plays the victim and I can’t stand it. But the honest truth is that her size make me anxious. The fact that she will not shower for three days and think it’s fine to go out to dinner with baggy track pants and a old shirt on annoys me.

Maybe I’m just an asshole anyone else ever deal with a parent who is constantly spiteful and eating themselves to death?