Lonely & depressed

I’ve been feeling VERY down lately, my SO has been ignoring me unless we are doing something sexually charged. It isn’t rape, but it makes me feel like an object. He never talks to me anymore, he either goes straight to bed or plays video games till he passes out. We haven’t talked since the 31st. I want out of the relationship, but I also want to be loved and I want someone to look forward to seeing me, to loving me.

- it makes me sad because all of my friends are married with children and I’m still in and out of verbally and mentally abusive relationships, can’t have kids, and I’m severely depressed. I want to believe so badly that there is a man for me out there, but why haven’t I found him yet? Why do I have to go through getting cheated on and used and talked down to. I just want to have a little family and someone who loves me.

My friends and family are worried I won’t have kids because I’m 20 without any, a shitty pretending to care boyfriend. And the girls on this app who are constantly talking down to me and being rude when I truly want help, I’ve considered deleting social media but no cigar.

I’ve only ever wanted a baby and a man to love me, it seems like everyone else is finding these amazing guys and really going out of their way to do amazing things, meanwhile I’ve lost my job, gained weight and had to move back to my parents house because I only have 500 dollars to my name.

My family isn’t supportive, they say I’m not the marrying type, “ you don’t even take care of yourself.” Well that’s really hard to do when you want to curl into bed and cry. I just want a normal life for once, I’d love to have a ring on my finger or even someone who gave a shit enough to text me once or twice ever so offen...

But apparently I don’t deserve it.