IVF - why me?

Question

I have no idea where to post this... I just wanted to write it somewhere because I feel like I’m going crazy with my own thoughts....
I’m on CD29, tomorrow my period should arrive (CD30). If I’m not pregnant this month then it’s on with my first round of IVF. 
The medication arrived yesterday and it’s all stocked in the fridge. I’m in denial.  I’m praying that my period doesn’t show and I get my BFP 🤞🏼... the Doctors have told me that my AMH levels are too low and my chances of conceiving naturally are non-existent so basically it’s on with the IVF 😕.
Does anyone get the feeling that they don’t want their baby conceived in a tube? My thoughts are totally crazy, I know that! I just can’t let go of this feeling. I just want to feel ‘normal’ whatever that is.... 😫 I just want to eat pregnant like others do and not go through this painful journey.

Answer

Your feelings are totally valid. I also think often about the emotional, physical and financial burden of it all. It sucks and it's unfair. But to offer another perspective  on the 'test tubes'.. it's really quite amazing that medicine and science have progressed to a point where we have this option! I found it quite magical to see pictures of my fertilised egg, and it grow into a blastocyst before it got transferred.

Answer

Look at it that way - we tried the traditional (hate the word natural, as if IVF was something unnatural) way for four years and 3 IUIs and didn’t get pregnant not even once. 
When I took my meds for the IVF home, I felt hopeful and enthusiastic- because I felt like I could finally do something that would get us there. And it worked. First try, first embryo.

Answer

I know how you feel. I felt like God or whoever is up there personally picked me for my journey and I felt totally ripped off. I thought 'why me?' so many times.
When I recieved all my medication, I was so overwhelmed, I cried. i had been waiting sooooooo long for the day to come and it was finally there, right infront of me. I thought "yep, I'm officially doing IVF". All those 'test tube' thoughts definitely went away when I would get updates from the embryologist. From then on it was all about "Grow embies grow.. mummy & daddy love you"
IVF is my only hope in conceiving as I was diagnosed with stage 1 endometrial cancer. ive been cleared but they allowed me to proceed with IVF. To say I am beyond blessed to even be able to do IVF is an understatement. 
AND not only that, I came to peace with why I was I was supposed to be on this journey.. if I wasnt TTC my cancer could have been missed.
All the best and stay strong x

Answer

I had one child without IVF and my second through IVF. What I can say is that regardless of how you conceive, keep focusing on the end goal which is to have a beautiful, healthy child. The IVF journey was definitely different but totally worth it to have my beautiful baby girl!!

Answer

I feel that too! I am on my last cycle but i dont think ill get my miracle natural pregnancy. I dont know why we got the bad luck of infertiltiy when so many others get it easy. I am trying to count my blessings though and am just reaaaaaallly hoping our luck changes ans IVF works on our first and only cycle

Answer

I don’t think anyone wants their baby made in a tube but we tried the other and our bodies failed. It was a hard journey but well worth it as I hold one sweet little 9 week baby and look at his twin brother.

Answer

Totally. No one wants this. But sometimes it’s the only way to get our little miracle. It’s not fair. 
My mom and dad tried to get pregnant for years before resorting to IVF. I was conceived in a Petri dish in 1992. 
Meanwhile, while we’re sticking ourselves daily and filling our bodies with ridiculous amounts of hormones, we can all be slightly bitter that some girls go out and get pregnant on accident or on their first try. I feel like I’m even more impressed (and mad) at those girls now after knowing how hard it actually is to get pregnant. The number of things that have to be just right is amazing.

Answer

Thanks so much for your replies! 💛 it’s so good to hear that I’m not alone and others are sharing this struggle. I wish you both luck with your journeys x

Answer

Yes! My major fear was them using the wrong sperm or egg or implanting the wrong embryo!  Everyone makes mistakes... you NEVER know!  But, currently 21 weeks after our 3rd IVF transfer!!  VERY low AMH as well at 30 years with 2 naturally conceived miscarriages.  Good luck!

IVF - why me?

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