I’ve had enough.

I don’t even know how to start this post, or why I’m even writing it. But. I’m sick and tired of crying each month af shows. When you symptom spot and “try not to try” after 9 months. I feel like we’ve done it all and I’m beginning to feel helpless and exhausted and emotionally drained. All I’ve ever wanted in life was to be a mom, and I never thought it would be this hard. Yes, I am 34 and also t1d. So that always concerns me. I’m tired of hearing “it’ll happen when it’s meant to be” or “don’t try” why is it that people look at each other and get pregnant, and then there’s the ones who suffer month after month freaking out as they get closer to the one year mark. I can’t do this anymore. My emotions are all over the place. Preseed, believing old wives tales, articles, opks everything we’ve done seems to fail each time. My husband is going to get tested once we can get an appointment. I feel lost. And I don’t want to say alone bc this community is so supportive and incredible and amazing. It’s hard to talk to my husband now bc I see the disappointment on his face when I break down and cry when the bitch comes. I also feel like he is putting off getting tested bc he doesn’t want to hear that it’s him. I’m sad. Crampy. And just blah. If you happen to come across this post, throw a prayer my way and I’ll do the same for you ❤️