What’s wrong with me?

Question

Hey I’m 20 years old and I’ve been in really bad relationships from the beginning. I’ve been with a guy who emotionally abused me and another who actually laid hands on me. Another guy who ghosted me and made me think he was in love with me. I recently took a break from dating for almost a year and a half. I recently met an amazing guy and he is sweet and he loves me for me. But I feel bad because I can’t allow myself to love him. I don’t know why but I’m scared and nervous. When I kissed him I didn’t feel the sparks that everyone talk about. But when I was with him I didn’t want to leave I loved being held by him and him holding my hand.  I even watch the videos from the day me and him hung out and I keep thinking how happy I look. I have told him all my fears and told him everything. But I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me?

Answer

Nothing is wrong with you.
You’re used to guys who are clearly not up to par. You’re only 20 and I really don’t think you should continue to worry about things like this.
Loving yourself is what is most important and once you’re able to do that, you’ll begin to notice more about the guys you choose to associate yourself with. Another important thing is to stop letting your relationships define who you are as a person.
Never settle for less and never question your self worth either. Grow as an individual first and see how much you’ll change.