Day 1 of taking my life back and beating the depression that has taken every ounce of life out of me.

Step 1 : Drink more water

I have been battling depression since I was give or take 15 years old. I'm 20 now. It's hit me harder than ever the last few months. I find myself struggling to even brush my teeth, to get out of bed, to shower. Something so simple takes so much energy. Friday I sobbed to my fiancé as I brushed the tangles from my hair that had just been washed for the first time in a week. I sobbed and apologized for being so disgusting. He held me, kissed me, told me he loved me. I told him that I wanted my life back. I didn't want to feel like this everyday. He just hugged me until I wasn't crying any more, and said "let's get your life back". If someone can love me this much, surely I can love myself. So I'm starting simple. Small steps. Today I've drank more water than I have in weeks. Tonight I might even be able to shower and brush my hair before it gets bad again.

Depression really sucks. It kicks my ass 95% of the time. I have put on so much weight from over eating, not leaving my bed, not drinking enough water. I refuse to allow this dark cloud to follow me anymore. I am beating my depression. Small steps. I will be healthy again. I will be happy again. I will love myself again.

*attaching a picture of my fiancé and I*