Please advice on what this is called??

So this happens pretty often in my relationship.

I’m a stay at home mum my partner and I have 2 boys together a 8 month old and 3 year old.

Anyway this passed week our baby has had a bug all week and vomiting, it was bad we were up at the hospital as well and hes now on strong medicine for it. He’s still sick and unhappy and sooky and I literally hold him all day long cos he isn’t himself yet and doesn’t want to get down and crawl and play etc. during this week I’ve also had a very extremely painful boil in my armpit in which I was on antibiotics for myself as well. I could barely lift my arm and luckily was able to do everything with my right, including holding the baby... the house got a bit messy but I would try clean every opportunity I could in between bub sleeping ( which was rare).

My partner was at work everyday. I wake up with the baby all night long even though I’m at the point where I’m exhausted and can barelt stay awake myself, when I had the boil I would be crying in my sleep in that much pain and still having to wake up with the baby. Once my partner goes to sleep he is literally knocked out and nothing can ever wake him up. Whereas I’m first to jump at every little noise.

Anyway this morning he woke up ) he’s got a day off work, took the older kids to school (kids with my ex) and he gets home and literally just complains about little things like him having to pick up rubbish, or tidy up little things etc..

I literally had to walk away and jump in the shower because of the week I’ve had I didn’t want to even have to explain why I haven’t been able to clean. We discussed it when I got out & he told me he’ knew I was sick & bub was sick but if it was him at home with the bub all day he would still find a way to ensure the house is clean. This really hurts that he expects me to have the house so clean just because I’m at home? He doesntknow how hard it is for me and how exhausting and tired I am and how sore my body is from holding our son all day. I just feel so annoyed that he can compare and flip it around and make me feel like I’m useless. The house is NOT dirty or anything it may be untidy with things out of place, toys, clothes not folded etc.

I just don’t know what to do anymore as this is a common occurrence between us and it’s really getting to me.

I’m the sort of person who if I have a few small minutes to myself I’d like to use it to take care of myself and make myself feel abit human such as shower, brush my teeth, wash my hair, eat something and put real clothes on.

Am I asking too much?!! Should I be using every other second of my day to clean and make everything perfect?

Life is so short soemtimesI just feel like he sweats the small stuff. We’re healthy and we all have a home with food on our plates and clothes on our back and we have each other how is that not enough?

I feel so down I’ve just got in my car left he house myself and I’m sitting in a car park writing this I just don’t know what to do... is this a form of abuse?? I just don’t know what it’s called what he is doing to me?