I’m heartbroken 😞

I know I should be happy for my best friend. She found out she was pregnant today, but I’ve been trying for over a year with no luck. She tried for a month and got it on the first try. My heart is broken and I know that’s selfish of me but I’m finding is super hard to be excited and happy for her. She said I’d be the god mother, that I could go to all of the doctors appointments and even keep the baby whenever I wanted but after all of that bullshit she had the nerve to text me and apologize saying “I’m sorry you didn’t end up pregnant first” my blood was boiling and still is. So I got out the alcohol and took shot after shot to drown out the pain. I’m more upset for the baby because she likes to party, and sleep around. She was with the father which is now one of my best friends for two months before leaving him and breaking his heart because she doesn’t like being tied down. She wasn’t even going to tell him she was pregnant. She was going to look him in the eyes and lie to him saying the baby wasn’t even his. She told him she was pregnant by sending him pictures of the pregnancy tests today and captioning it “happy Father’s Day nigga” how can someone be so cruel? Maybe one day I’ll be able to be happy for her but for now I’m a mess. Any advice ladies? I’m feeling very down in the dumps 😫