Where do you find these guys?!

Question

Ladies, over the last few weeks, I’ve read about people being in these happy, almost seemingly perfect relationships, girls getting purposed to and I just gotta know.. where the hell do you find these guys? All I seem to find are guys who are mentally and emotionally abusive and/or are cheaters. 
I would like to think that I’m at least sort of pretty.. hahaha .. yeah, no.. not really. But why should looks even matter?! Sure I’m not perfect and I have a past, but why judge me on it? It’s in the past. Like people do stupid shit. But honestly, my family jokes saying that my “knight in shining armour” must have gotten lost or his horse died. 
I know I don’t have a winning personality (I have attitude and it’s not always pretty) and I have a few sharp edges but if a guy can actually put in the effort to get past my hard shell, they would actually find a very sensitive, caring, hopeless romantic. 
Maybe there’s something wrong with me.. I don’t know anymore but I’m almost 27 and my dreams of getting married and having kids are slipping away and my realization that I’m going to die the crazy cat lady is becoming more real every day.

This is me and my dad’s dog. My big squishy face 😊

These are my girls:  Pearl (5) and Luna (2). No they aren’t related.
Update: I’ve met guys on dating sites and they have all been pigs. I met my last boyfriend randomly at a bus stop, but we had been friends since grade 7 but lost touch in high school. I’m not exactly over him but I’m working on it. He began very controlling and jealous with trust issues and he just never let anything go when I would tell him about stuff from my past. He’s still my best friend and living with me in my apartment right now cause he has nowhere to go but I’ve been trying to work on me little by little. I don’t know if I’m actually ready for a relationship though.

Answer

Well, honestly, I was a lot like you until my late 20s. I couldn't figure out what the issue was. I had to take a good, long look at myself and figure out what I was doing that was attracting these guys. I started to realize if we want to attract something,  we have to be that something first because we attract what we are, not what we want. I realized I wanted a decent man, but the way I was dressing, acting,  treating guys I did date, the standards I had for guys I would go out with- those things weren't conducive to the type of guy I wanted to date. Setting better standards- that was the biggest one. I was so caught up on having a bf that I never stopped before hand and asked "is this guy even right for me? Am I right for him? Is this guy even the type of man I want to date??" Had I done that, I'd have probably saved myself years of shitty dating.
After that, I started asking myself these questions. If the guy wasn't a fit for what I wanted in a man, or I wasn't a fit for what they wanted in a woman, I stopped saying "yes" to dates with them. I stopped pursuing men. I let my attraction be known, and let them pursue me, then I watch carefully to see what kind of man they are. A guy will often give in and sleep with a woman pursuing them, even if she isn't someone they really want to get serious with. They are much less likely to pursue a woman they don't have some kind of romantic  feelings for, and if they are a player it becomes very apparent quickly if you make them work/earn your time and affection. I stopped trying to get physical and so serious so fast. One thing I have learned is that the honeymoon phase is bliding as fuck. You just DO NOT see the real person for who they really are at this time. It is just a simple fact of relationships. That's why it is called "the honeymoon *phase*".. It is a phase and doesn't last. It can take 3-4 years of being in a relationship for a couple to truly get to know each other and fully get out of the honeymoon phase.   This is why you see so many relationships start to crumble around this time. They didn't build a solid relationship, they just relied on the honeymoon phase to hold the relationship together.. and once it was gone........ well.. so was the relationship. 
When I met my now fiance, it was 2011. We took things slow.  Didn't get physical for a couple months, didn't move in together until 2 years in, didn't start talking about marriage until around year 5.. we took the time to build and nurture a foundation for our relationship. and now, at over 7 years together we have been engaged most of this year and will be getting married in Aug. 2019. 
This is not to say our relationship is perfect.  It was not easy getting to where we are. There were lots of struggles and even some tears- but that's what building a solid marriage is- work. It isn't easy. It doesn't just fall in your lap. It takes a perfect storm of better judgement, compatibility, and hard work to make a successful relationship. 
I'm not sure if this helped you at all, but I hope it at least helps you point yourself in a helpful direction.  Best of luck to you.

Answer

I was in a ton of u healthy realtio ships. one day I decided to stop looking. I fixed myself. learned to love myself. I got to a point where I was okay if i NEVER got married. I would be ok with just living with me. And then I met my current SO and everything is different! I think a big part of a healthy relationship is being ok with yourself.

Answer

Honestly you find them in the last place you expect and at a time you don’t except it. I wasn’t looking for my husband at all, he pretty much just fell into my life as my best friend for years and somehow we fell in love, can’t tell you when or how exactly but it just happened.

Answer

yeah I agree with the other poster about finding them at unexpected times
for me I thought I had found a good guy and I stayed with him for six years but when it finally fell apart I had to be very brave and go find a place to live on my own. Then I started dating my online friend even though I was scared they would be a loser. But it turns out they were my dream man! And now are married
and as far as your original question goes I literally met him on gaiaonline when we were 16 😂 we started dating at 25 after making contact again.

Answer

when not looking for them. 
I was in a serious relationship and ended it. realised I don't have a lot of friends, or really been on many dates I joined a dating site to have fun, work on me, and just enjoy being single and meeting people. 
that was my goal. 
after talking to a few guys on the dating site and I finally felt comfortable meeting one of them. 
....I married him and never met anyone else on the site.

Answer

I met my boyfriend 1 1/2 years ago surprisingly online. I never in a million years thought I'd ever think about getting married again.I was previously married for 5 1/2 years to an abusive lack of a man. My boyfriend and I have been through so much sinve wehave been together. Two months after we started dating I ended up in the hospital with Mono and a really bad case of tonsillitis. He was there for me every day, every step of the way. I was off work for a month. He stepped up to the plate and helped me out financially and with my daughter. A month after that his grandma passed away and 3 moths after that his mom passed away. The hardest year of my life was last year but we made it through and now are expecting a beautiful little girl. I am having complications as I'm only 27 weeks and I'm not allowed to work. He has again stepped up and is helping me out. He is probably the most amazing man in the world.

Answer

You’re still young - don’t lose hope! I met my now husband when I was 29. It took a long time but I finally found the right guy! I hope you will too. 
Your kitty cats are adorable, by the way! 😻😻

Where do you find these guys?!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey