Husband complaining...

Update: We had a long talk yesterday about me not feeling supported. I asked him if he thought he knew more than the doctor, and he said, “Of course not.” And he apologized. Said he didn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to just pump and feed from a bottle since it takes so much less time. I explained how important breastfeeding was to both me and to our child. He said he was sorry again.

BUT

Cut to 4 this morning. I’m about to write down baby’s latest feed in our tracker notebook - we write down his feed times/amounts and his dirty diapers - and my husband has circled each one of my breastfeeding sessions and labeled them “1 hour.” I was pissed. I woke him up to tell him not to do that again. He just told me to shut up and let him sleep.

Ugh, I’m so pissed. I totally understand that 4 AM was not the right time to try to talk to him. But I was really, really angry and on the brink of tears.

We have another pediatrician appointment on Thursday. Even though he’s heard the doctor tell us that baby should be taking 40-50 minutes per feed, I’m going to point blank ask again. Just to make sure he’s aware.

BR/BL - Breast Right/Left

P - Pumping session

EBM - Expressed Breast Milk from a bottle

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My LO is now 11 days old. He was born a little early, and so his pediatrician has me supplementing his BF with expressed breast milk in a bottle in order for him to gain weight.

He feeds every 2-3 hours (2 during the day, 3 at night) for roughly 20-25 minutes per breast, and then takes another 30 mL or so. Recently, he’s started to get crazy hiccups after eating, no matter how much I burp him after each boob/bottle. So, after a little research, I’ve stopped supplementing unless he just refuses to latch. (He’s young, so sometimes he doesn’t want to latch, but he’s getting better!)

My husband has begun to complain that I’m feeding him for too long. I tried to explain to him that newborns can take a long time to feed because they don’t have the reflex down, but he just dismissed me.

It’s starting to wear on me because I’m feeding then pumping then feeding then pumping. My nipples are cracked and sore (thank God for lanolin and ice packs) and I feel like all I do is feed my baby. I know that’s pr for the course, but having his support would make it a little easier.

He’s trying to convince me that “for both of our sanities” I should only bottle feed him at night. He’s also trying to get me to put a timer on his feedings (DESPITE THE FACT that our pediatrician said to aim for 20-25 minutes PER BREAST). He just doesn’t seem to understand.

What should I do? Is my LO taking too long to feed? Did I make the right decision I’m stopping supplementing with a bottle? How can I get my husband to stop criticizing me and how I feed our child?