UPDATE: Would you consider this in appropriate?

So for starters, let’s get some backstory.

I’ve been married for a little over 3 years. The first year was okay for a little while. I got pregnant shortly after we got married. At the end of my pregnancy I found out that he had been cheating on me from the very beginning. The whole time I’m pregnant. Brand new wife. I was crushed and everything you could imagine. I decided to stay and work through it. 2nd year was horrible. I was hurting and had zero trust in him. I questioned everything he did. He didn’t act like he was genuinely sorry or that he regretted it all. It was more of he was sorry he got caught. So the whole 2nd year was a disaster. 3rd year, he not only forgot our anniversary but once I said something about it he chose not to say anything because “we don’t have a marriage”. The whole 3 years we’ve been married, he’s done this thing where he befriends females and decides to talk about his marriage issues. He talks negatively about me to every female he strikes up some sort of dealings with. Most of the time he takes things too far and says something inappropriate. It’s a constant argument.

Now for the current issue

A couple months ago he made himself another friend. I didn’t like it from the start, especially given his history. I found out that he vents to her about our marital issues. He talks crap about me and fabricates things in order to make her feel sorry for him. I’ve expressed my feelings and told him that it needs to stop. He just doesn’t seem to care. He makes excuses as to why he’s talking to her. Before it was that he was just responding but never starting the conversation. Now he’s going to her for conversations and starting it. I got upset about it and told him that it was either me or her.

He then chooses to leave the house and text me that I’m not allowed to use his iPad anymore because I can’t just do what I intended to do. Instead I have to read the messages between him and this girl. He locked me out of all the devices after I found out about his cheating. I guess as a way to keep me from finding out more stuff.

Am I being controlling by not wanting him to have female friends or converse with them outside of a professional setting, given his history?

Update: I’m no longer sleeping in the same bed with him due to a very crushing text he sent me which I will post. He had school today and was staying to do homework and I asked if he was doing it by himself. He said no and it was like puling teeth to get him to answer the question as to who he was with. Why is it so hard for him to understand how this works? He says that because I don’t even sleep in the same bed with him, I’m not entitled to ask him questions.