Help serious

I had a serious thing happen. My ex and I are very done, but we hung out at a friend's house. I had a serious lapse in judgement and took a couple of ativan after having a severe anxiety attack and then another yes lapse in judgement I had a couple of Caesars. Last thing I remember was bouncing on a trampoline and woke up at midnight wearing different pants and had no recollection of what happened. Now here is a twist a few months before we split I had lost my baby at 16 weeks. Well I just found out I was pregnant but baffled because I don't remember even having sex at all. At any time, and was so confused so I asked him about that night and he said we had sex in the bathroom when I was blacked out and he's sorry that he didn't know I was not technically conscious. I'm so upset because he didn't tell me when I came to but should have suspected because I was wearing different pants. I just thought I peed myself being on a trampoline and all. The fucked up thing was. Deep down I really wanted another baby but feel so conflicted about even keeping it under these circumstances. What? Update: He was also drinking and didn't know to the best of my knowledge unless he's really being an evil prick, and he's indifferent about the baby.