So there’s this guy that I have known since middle school. He always had a crush on me but I was way too young and stupid so I didn’t entertain him. 2 years ago we started talking and I started to like him. He began to tell me that he wanted a relationship with me and that he was holding on tight and never letting me go. Well apparently those were lies because our relationship began to fall. Well, a year or so ago I started going to his house to hang out. It was on the second day that he sucked on my nipples, bitting me and teasing me. It felt so good but it was too soon. Well this where our relationship was getting freaky. He was the guy I ever gave head too and I wanted more. I started to feel things for him that I never felt for no one else. So I asked him what we are he responded with we are just friends, I asked him about our future and he looked me in my eyes and said he has too much on his plate that he wouldn’t know. Long story short I lost my virginity to him because overall he is a very good guy and I trusted him. But idk if it was my heart or a gut feeling that I loved him. I never been in loved so I wouldn’t know. He joined the Air Force and left for 4 months I thought he would never hit me up again but he did. More like I was his booty call but the sex felt so good that I didn’t think of it too much. I started feeling jealous and embarrassed of myself that we were friends with benefits never did I thought I would lose my virginity like this. I poured my heart to this guy and he said again that he didn’t know that there is a future for us together, he cared about my feeling but I was the one to approach him to have sex. Idk what to do, I feel played, heart broken, humiliated, just a lot of other feelings. He has done many fucked up shit but I can’t stop talking or seeing him. He can go days without hitting me up and out of the blue sends me a text or calls me and I feel like a dumbass after everything I respond and I’m always there for him. I told him that if there is no future of us together that I can’t keep having sex he has kept teasing me and non stop talking to me. I can’t stop but after I see him I will cry all night regretting for treating me this way and the stuff I put myself into. At times idk if I have these strong feelings for him because he was my first for everything. At this point I need advice🙍🏽.